Employee backs out of their promise to cover coworker's shift after she also demands they take over all of her extra tasks of the day, gets called out: ‘Coworkers should help each other’

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  • Coworkers Engaged in Discussion in a Modern Workspace
  • AITAH for declining a “casual favor” after it kept expanding?

    I (28F) have a coworker I get along with well, but we're not close friends. A couple of weeks ago, she asked if I could cover one short shift for her on a day she had a personal appointment.
  • She said it would only be a few hours and that she'd return the favor later.
  • I agreed. A few days before the shift, she messaged saying her appointment was actually taking the whole day, so she'd need me to cover longer than planned.
  • I hesitated but said okay, since I hadn't made other plans yet. Then, the night before, she texted again asking if I could also handle a few extra tasks she normally does because "I'd already be there anyway" and she didn't want things to fall behind.
  • At that point, it felt like a completely different commitment than what I'd agreed to. I told her I wasn't comfortable taking on more than we originally discussed and that I'd rather not cover the shift at all if that was the expectation.
  • She was clearly annoyed and said I was putting her in a bad position last minute and that coworkers should help each other out when things come up.
  • Another colleague later told me it would've been easier to just suck it up for one day instead of backing out completely.
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  • From my perspective, the favor kept growing, and I didn't want to set a precedent where "helping out" meant unlimited responsibility.
  • So... AITAH for backing out once the expectations changed?
  • Intelcourier The easy answer would have been to say you would cover the whole shift as you agreed to do that. But you wouldn't have time to do the extra things she wanted done. Also, don't ever agree to do this woman a work favor again. She is obviously a selfish user.
  • SyntaxKoala Original Poster's Reply Yeah, I think you're right. I was fine with what we originally talked about, it just started to feel like too much once more things got added on. Lesson learned for next time.
  • nathaa22 NTA, you know the answer, no one has to explained it for you
  • SyntaxKoala Original Poster's Reply Yeah, sometimes it's easier to trust your gut after hearing outside perspectives.
  • Imaginary_Chair_6958 I hate people like that. You agree to do them a favor and then suddenly there are additional tasks added on that you never agreed to. But that was their plan all along - get you agree to the small thing and then slowly reveal the full commitment. And they will never return the favor either. So NTA, you did the right thing. It might make work more difficult, but if you'd given in on this, she would've continued to take advantage.
  • SyntaxKoala Original Poster's Reply Yeah, that's what bothered me the most it didn't feel like a misunderstanding, it felt like the expectations just kept quietly growing. I don't mind helping, I just don't want it to turn into something I never actually agreed to.
  • waywardjynx NTA, she set you up and/or is taking advantage.
  • Inside_Major_8078 Who is getting paid for that shift and the additional work. If salary she needs to take PTO. If hourly, still make sure manager/management knows you are working in her place. If you get hurt on the job and it isn't documented you were working, no insurance or workman's compensation will be provided.
  • Sirregularguy NTA Next time, you know to cap any additional duties in the original agreement. Also, get the favor in return detailed out rather than just a floating favor that can easily be minimized in the future.

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